“I had no idea when I started this journey with you that I would even be addressing anything sexual. It was just another thing for me that I felt was broken about me, but I did not see it as something in my life that needed to be addressed first, because there were so many other things that I felt needed fixing.

When I started broaching this subject with you, I was uncomfortable and frankly terrified to even look at my feelings about it, let alone discuss any feelings that I had that were at all sexual in nature. I went back and forth between denying that entire part of my self, and being angry that I had lost it along the way.

You assured me that it was not only ok for us to discuss these issues, but the sexual field was actually a revealing window inward, and the way I felt about and approached my sexuality was a mirror of the way I felt about my self. I didn’t believe you fully when you first said this, but you are so SO right.

Over the past few months I have really been delving into and exploring my feelings in this sexual field, and opening up to my femininity - which is a sentence I can’t believe I am even writing. Femininity is not only something I was absolutely never ever in touch with in myself before, but something I used to see as a horribly embarrassing weakness in others.

I operated almost entirely from my masculine, and I was proud of that. I could do anything myself, I didn’t need anyone. And now that I’ve made a conscious decision to take a step down from my need to prove myself, and a step back in my relationship, and let my husband take a step forward, I see how valuable it has been to let him lead me and take care of me. And that in itself is tremendously powerful for both of us.

I am bursting with love for my new self. And my sex life is now like nothing I even knew was possible. I spent many years and decades not being aware of feeling bodily needs or urges or feelings, and even more than that, I think I was actually taking pride in actively denying them. As if admitting to sexual needs would have made me a lesser person.

Now I fully embrace all these feelings, and I am in beautiful concert with my husband in a very plentiful and extremely exciting sexual life every day.”